Yesterday I decided to try a veggie burger. The weather was gorgeous and the BBQ was calling my name! I stopped off at the grocery store and picked up Yves (The Good) Veggie Burger. I wish I could tell you that I chose Yves because of extensive market research but the truth is, it had the most appealing package (hehe, That’s What She Said).
Filled with naivety and hopeful enthusiasm, I gingerly unwrapped the package. My finger happened to graze the burger in the process and this is when I felt my first moment of alarm. It was mildly similar to slimy plastic. Like that wet silly putty you play with as a child. I paused momentarily to take a closer look at the “patty”. I poked then sniffed it but came to no real conclusion on how this might taste. I was, however, still optimistic. After all, they called themselves Yves (The Good) Veggie Burger. They wouldn’t say they were “THE GOOD” veggie burger without actually being a good burger… Would they?
It would seem that I had chosen to completely ignore everything I had ever learned about advertising. I.e.: It lies.
I opted on a pan over the BBQ since I had never cooked a veggie burger before and wasn’t sure what to expect. I thought the pan would be a safer choice, particularly since I was mildly concerned it really was plastic and I didn’t want it melting through my grill.
I gently placed the “burgers” on the pan and went to go watch a couple Buzzfeed videos. This was my first mistake. Mere minutes later I smelled it. Smoke began to fill my kitchen as I jumped up to find my “burgers” had already charred. I flipped the “patties” and realize they had the consistency of cardboard.
Mmmmmm Cardboard!
A couple minutes later I took the “burgers” off the pan and plated them with Quinoa, Hemp hearts, and some spinach.
Doesn’t look bad does it. LIES!
I have a couple things to say about Yves (The Good) Veggie Burgers.
- These burgers have ZERO vegetables in them. An ingredient check will tell you that it is soy, wheat, corn starch, and some chemical sounding ingredients. If you have any kind of wheat or gluten intolerance, do not eat these veggie burgers. (They do have a gluten free burger but I can’t imagine it taste any less disgusting).
- They tasted like less than nothing. I can’t imagine there was ANY effort to season them. I’m not saying they should taste like beef. Obviously, if you’re getting a veggie burger you probably don’t like the taste of beef and that’s your call. I do believe they should taste like something! This was the blandest piece of garbage I have ever had and I’ve eaten sugar free chocolate! I am insulted on behalf of vegetarians everywhere and I’m not even a vegetarian. Just because you don’t eat meat doesn’t mean you don’t have taste buds.
- Don’t eat these.
- If you’re thinking about eating these read this article again. Take special note of the hope and optimism I held. Then notice as it is ripped away from me. Learn from me young ones, don’t do it.
Fear not readers, I have not lost hope! I have a dream. A dream that out there is a good, wheat free, veggie burger recipe! I will power on in my journey and I have no doubt one day in the future you will read a happier tale. A tale of a young’ish woman experimenting with plant based diets who has discovered a truly enjoyable veggie burger.
As always, thank you for reading beautiful people. Please feel free to comment and let me know if YOU have found any good veggie burgers that you would like me to try and review!
Mobile Health and Happiness 