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Yesterday I decided to try a veggie burger. The weather was gorgeous and the BBQ was calling my name! I stopped off at the grocery store and picked up Yves (The Good) Veggie Burger. I wish I could tell you that I chose Yves because of extensive market research but the truth is, it had the most appealing package (hehe, That’s What She Said).

yves

Filled with naivety and hopeful enthusiasm, I gingerly unwrapped the package. My finger happened to graze the burger in the process and this is when I felt my first moment of alarm. It was mildly similar to slimy plastic. Like that wet silly putty you play with as a child. I paused momentarily to take a closer look at the “patty”. I poked then sniffed it but came to no real conclusion on how this might taste. I was, however, still optimistic. After all, they called themselves Yves (The Good) Veggie Burger. They wouldn’t say they were “THE GOOD” veggie burger without actually being a good burger… Would they?

 

It would seem that I had chosen to completely ignore everything I had ever learned about advertising. I.e.: It lies.

I opted on a pan over the BBQ since I had never cooked a veggie burger before and wasn’t sure what to expect. I thought the pan would be a safer choice, particularly since I was mildly concerned it really was plastic and I didn’t want it melting through my grill.

 

I gently placed the “burgers” on the pan and went to go watch a couple Buzzfeed videos. This was my first mistake. Mere minutes later I smelled it. Smoke began to fill my kitchen as I jumped up to find my “burgers” had already charred. I flipped the “patties” and realize they had the consistency of cardboard. 

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Mmmmmm Cardboard!

A couple minutes later I took the “burgers” off the pan and plated them with Quinoa, Hemp hearts, and some spinach.

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Doesn’t look bad does it. LIES!

 

I have a couple things to say about Yves (The Good) Veggie Burgers.

 

  1. These burgers have ZERO vegetables in them. An ingredient check will tell you that it is soy, wheat, corn starch, and some chemical sounding ingredients. If you have any kind of wheat or gluten intolerance, do not eat these veggie burgers. (They do have a gluten free burger but I can’t imagine it taste any less disgusting).
  2. They tasted like less than nothing. I can’t imagine there was ANY effort to season them. I’m not saying they should taste like beef. Obviously, if you’re getting a veggie burger you probably don’t like the taste of beef and that’s your call. I do believe they should taste like something! This was the blandest piece of garbage I have ever had and I’ve eaten sugar free chocolate! I am insulted on behalf of vegetarians everywhere and I’m not even a vegetarian. Just because you don’t eat meat doesn’t mean you don’t have taste buds.
  3. Don’t eat these.
  4. If you’re thinking about eating these read this article again. Take special note of the hope and optimism I held. Then notice as it is ripped away from me. Learn from me young ones, don’t do it.

 

Fear not readers, I have not lost hope! I have a dream. A dream that out there is a good, wheat free, veggie burger recipe! I will power on in my journey and I have no doubt one day in the future you will read a happier tale. A tale of a young’ish woman experimenting with plant based diets who has discovered a truly enjoyable veggie burger.

 

As always, thank you for reading beautiful people. Please feel free to comment and let me know if YOU have found any good veggie burgers that you would like me to try and review!

 

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Let’s talk about HEALTH baby
Let’s talk about you and me
Let’s talk about all the good nutrients and bad fats
That may be
Let’s talk about health!

– Sang to the tune of Salt-N-Pepa’s Let’s Talk About Sex (which I have no rights to)

 

Hello beautiful people, how have you been? I’ve been taking some time to figure out what the next step in my life is going to be and Eureka, I think I did it!

 

I’m going to be taking a course to become a Holistic Health Coach and eventually a registered Health Coach/Nutritionist. Here’s what that means:

 

The course is going to teach me about nutrition sciences as well as the link between what you eat and the way you feel. As some of you may know, I’ve come across a fair amount of health issues in the past year and a lot of them have been food related. I started doing research about how to heal my body through the way I eat. I refused to believe I was going to feel sick my entire life and that it was just something I had to accept, as most doctors would have me believe.

 

At the end of this course I plan to be able to help others as well as myself. I want to show people what it would be like not to wake up exhausted every morning. I want everyone to feel happy with themselves and the way they feel. I am going to give people a way of eating that doesn’t taste horrible and is attainable. And that living healthy can be fun!

 

I know some of you will think this is hoaxey. I mean holistic nutrition? Hippie nonsense! Just eat the right foods! How hard can it be?

Social Media Veggies

If only it was this easy

 

You’re right, it shouldn’t be hard, but governments and food industries have confused healthy and garbage so much that we don’t know what to pick on the shelf. What do those ingredient lists really mean and why does half that list sound like a science experiment from high school? Even the most skeptical of eater’s may have found themselves thinking:

 

Is this my third cup of coffee today? Or is it my fifth? Is that even bad?
Is my hair thinning?
Why am I tired all the time?
Am I losing patience or are people just really annoying lately?
Why can’t I get out of bed?
I just want to hibernate for like… a year. That’s normal right?

So I had a box of Oreos for dinner, that’s not so bad is it? I just don’t have energy to cook anymore!
What can I feed my kid that he won’t hate?
OMG, how did I gain five pounds, I’ve been dieting for TWO WEEKS!?!?
Why don’t I ever feel good?

 

Let’s face it guys, it’s not that easy to eat “right” anymore. What does eating right even mean? Our foods are filled with chemicals, most of it is “genetically modified” and we can’t remember what feeling good is. Eating healthy to most people means Kale for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and who wants that?

 

I come from a family where obesity runs rampant. I’ve had type 1 diabetes since I was 7, fought with PCOS, emotional ups and downs, hormonal irregularities, and doctors telling me there was nothing they could do unless I wanted to take this little pill. That little pill has a list of side effects longer than the list of chemicals in household cleaner. I finally decided that I was done feeling sick. I knew there was an answer out there and I was going to find it.

 

Now I want to help people along that same journey. I want to show the world that you can feel good without breaking the bank and eating like a rabbit. You can feel full and still lose weight! Will you have to make changes? Absolutely. Will they all be horrible? No.

 

You can be the best you.

 

I’ve always wanted to be hella hot when I was 30. I wanted to be like Anthony Kiedis (lead singer of the Red Hot Chili Peppers) who said his 40 yr old self could kick his 20 yr old self’s ass. And I want you all to take that journey with me.

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Who wouldn’t want to look this good at 40!?

 

Here’s some Q&A to answer some questions you may or may not have right now:

 

Q: Cindy, are all your blogs going to be boring now?
A: Hellz no! I’m still me. The blogs will still be witty with great memes to keep you laughing. There’s going to be some helpful information in there about eating habits, exercising habits, as well as mind and body goodness. It’ll be simple, easy to understand, and fun!

 

Q: Cindy, you mentioned the memes. So we’ll still get memes?
A: Of course! I love memes. I probably love memes a little too much. There will be so many memes!

 

Q: We’re a little worried reading your blog is going to feel like when our mothers nagged us about eating our vegetables. We really don’t want to be nagged.
A: Guys, come on. I would never nag …. Okay that’s a lie. I totally nag sometimes. But reading my blog will not be naggy. It’ll be insightful! You won’t even know you’re learning because you’ll be having so much fun!

 

Q: Will you have B list celebrity Guest bloggers?
A: I may know some people. There might be some guest bloggers. I’m really aiming for that. I know some pretty decent looking physical trainers who I might be able to convince to make an appearance every once and again, so… you know… something to look forward to!

 

Q: Are you trying to lure us into reading by promising us hot people?
A: I mean, I wouldn’t put it that way. But if that’s what works for you, then ya! Hot people!

 

Q: Will Mindy Kaling be a guest speaker?
A: I’m not making any promises here. I don’t know Mindy personally but I’ve tweeted her a couple times and I’m sure she’s read my tweets. I wouldn’t say it’s not a possibility.

 

Q: Cindy, the internet is really obsessed with sloths right now. Will there be sloths? #sloths.
A: I… I don’t really know why I would have a sloth on the blog but… I mean… I don’t really know what this has to do with a health blog or health coaching.

 

Q: What about kitten and puppy pictures?
A: I… seriously? Yeah, sure, there will probably be some kitten and puppy pictures here and there.

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Little Sloth knows what it’s about! 

 

Q: So, if there’s no sloths and you can’t promise Mindy Kaling, what will be on your blog??
A: Dude, have you even been listening? Okay, *takes deep breath*, this blog is going to have everything. There will be great and easy recipes to make healthy and tasty treats and meals. I’ll be showing some vegan recipes, some gluten free recipes, everything will be tweakable so you can tailor it to your own eating preferences! I’ll teach you what calories really mean for your body and how to tell if there are healthy fats in what you’re eating. We’ll talk about exercising, the goods, the bads, and the uglies! I’m going to be incorporating some video tutorials and tons of fun pictures. It’s going to be great.

 

Q: Did you say there was going to be twerking? #twerking.
A: NO! No, I did not say twerking. TWEAKING, I will show you how to tweak… or CHANGE the recipes so they suit you and your eating preferences. There will be no twerking.

 

Q: I think the idea of a twerking health blog is pretty cool.
A: I’m sure it would be but that’s not really what I’m about.

 

Q: What are you about?
A: Taking the Hell out of Healthy. Finding ways to eat and feel great about yourself every day. Making sure you live the best life you can have all your life. It’s going to be a place you can find recipes, advice, tidbits, and so many other things about your health and well being.

 

Q: Is this going to be like, a girly blog? Like, just a blog for women about women stuff?
A: Absolutely not. This blog is for both men and women. While some articles may be catered towards one of the other, I’ll always give readers a heads up at the beginning.

 

Q: Well, this all sounds fascinating. Will it be coming out once a month?
A: Actually, it’s going to be out weekly. Every Wednesday night or Thursday morning you can expect a new blog!

 

Q: Riveting.
A: I’m going to ignore the sarcastic tone there.

 

Alright, that’s the end of Q&A! If you have any other questions feel free to message or DM me! I love feedback and would love to hear your comments. If you have a specific health issue you’d like to talk about let me know and I’d be happy to make it the focus of one of the future blogs!

 

Stay happy, stay healthy, and as always, thanks for reading beautiful people!

 

Picture Source:
Pic 1: http://www.cartoonistgroup.com/store/add.php?iid=101503
Pic 2: http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/anthony-kiedis/images/13513439/title/anthony-kiedis-photo
Pic 3: http://www.cutesexyfunnyawful.com/2011/12/gluttony-and-sloth.html

Feature Pic: https://www.google.ca/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwi_wK_b_PrLAhUpyYMKHc3gD-kQjRwIBw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmemegenerator.net%2Finstance%2F23966428&psig=AFQjCNE9x8Z1bOReLQmisa29-cNJ3lzSXw&ust=146006513572455

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Look at how pretty this PSL is! Now I'm going to DRINK IT!

Look at how pretty this PSL is! It can’t be THAT bad for me… right?

The last couple months have been more eventful than I can cover in one blog post. Between health shifts and family drama, my life has been one resurrected evil twin away from a daytime soap opera.

However, that hasn’t been the main reason for my writing hiatus.  No, it’s more due to the fact that I can’t drink coffee anymore. At least, I can’t drink caffeinated coffee which is really the only kind that matters.

A couple months back I figured out that I had adrenal fatigue. Nothing deadly as long as you get it early but it means I had to cut sugar, caffeine, and alcohol right out of my diet. Unless you’re close to death I would never recommend doing this. I’m not going to sugar coat this guys, (haha, sugar coat, get it? Get the pun? *sobs*) not having caffeine or wine in my life has been a major life change. I’m not saying I’m an alcoholic but I will fully admit to being a caffeine-addict.

The thing is, these two things were my basic gifts to me. Neither of them costs a lot (though wowza, it adds up over time) and they both made me happier on bad days and pretty danged spiffy on the good days. I relied on coffee (Soy Americano Mistos with chocolate and cinnamon on top, specifically) and a good glass of wine as my stress relief and gratification for being an adult. Do you know what it’s like to have the two things that hit that pleasure center in your brain taken away??? Sorry, I sound intense about it but that’s because I AM INTENSE ABOUT IT. I essentially had to retrain my brain to deal with stress, sadness, anxiety, and the concept of rewarding myself in a completely different way.

I honestly don't know how parents do it. I can barely take care of myself!

I honestly don’t know how parents do it. I can barely take care of myself!

So now, I watch Bubbles longingly as she drinks wine and I drink decaf coffee. Yes. Decaf coffee. I make sure it’s swiss water organic and you know, it’s not… all bad. I’m not going to tell you that I want to drink it forever but every night I relax with a cup of decaf coffee and I’m grateful to at least have that.

The other downside to not being able to drink real coffee (other than not being able to drink real coffee) is that I really wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to write. Coffee has always been half of my muse. Anytime and every time I wanted to sit down and write I had a good cup of coffee beside me. In fact, I normally went through a couple cups of coffee in one writing session. It got my brain going and my fingers moving. It made me focused and sparked my imagination to create, invent, and breathe life into stories and characters. It opened up whole new worlds of possibilities.

edb6cb91d065fa2c135fcb8f9538d830Without coffee I was worried all the words were going to turn to dust in my head. I wondered if all the voices were going to go silent and all the colors in life would seep away. It terrified me. Writing has been a part of my life since I was 12 years old and probably before. It’s part of how I process and a huge part of how I cope. It also simply makes me happy.

I didn’t even try to write for those first two months. Frankly, even if I’d wanted to I didn’t have the energy to know where to begin. Without my constant stimulant I was exhausted and left to deal with the reality of my energy levels, which were beyond low at that point. Everything was overwhelming. Getting up, getting dressed, and going to work seemed like Mount Everest. The fact that I had to feed myself seemed an unfair and impossible task. I was exhausted. I was also rather grumpy.

But I did it. I started drinking insane amounts of green tea since it was the only thing not banned on the list and I started getting healthy in a way I’d never tried before. I’m not saying I’m quite there yet. I still have at least 3-4 months to go before I can even begin to contemplate having some of my favorite treats again (though I do cheat here and there. Come on, Pumpkin Spice Lattes came back to Starbucks! Cut me some slack! I made it decaf AND half sweet!) but my energy levels are so much better than they used to be that I feel like a brand new person. And that person is less likely to take the quickest answer and more likely to really look for the right solution, even if it takes some time. 

I’ve also learned a lot in the last couple of months. I’ve learned how to slow down and have more patience, not just with myself but with the life around me. I’m beginning to understand that good things can take time and those things are definitely worth waiting and working for. It’s so easy to get into the grind of rushing through things without taking the time to experience life and really appreciate the smaller things. Besides all that it did sort of fit into my, “Learn how to love me” year. No better way to learn about yourself than to take away all the things you rely on.

And that leads us to today, right here and right now as I sit, typing away at my laptop, sans caffeine. Turns out the words are all still there. The wind that my creativity rides on is still flying and frankly, I think

Lighting one bulb at a time ;)

Lighting one bulb at a time 😉

it might be stronger than ever. I have a  little less time to write now as I need more rest and I have to make everything from scratch but things are settling down and fall is here! Nanowrimo is just around the corner (National Novel Writing Month if you’ve never heard of it, http://nanowrimo.org/) and I can’t tell you how excited I am. Bubbles is planning her wedding (Woot!), the training at my new job is almost done, and there are a lot of wonderful things on the horizon. So here we go, Alons-y as the Doctor used to say, and bring on the decaf!

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