Archive for June, 2012

Hi. My name is Sassie Annie Kay and I am a commitmentphobe.

Or a diet!

Now is your turn to say, “Hi Annie!”

I haven’t blogged in… Well, in a long time. As much as I would like to blame my best friend, Pertobello, who I consider to be my own personal cheerler, in reality I can only blame myself. I’m sorry I let my blog space down. This is mostly from wanting to make my next blog about the low GI diet which I was about to start. I wanted to write about it with enthusiasm, update you regularly on how it was helping/harming my diabetic self, and maybe share some useful knowledge with some of you who were thinking of doing it. I haven’t been able to do that because, well, I never started the diet. That turned out to be a problem for the blog writing.

Of course I could give you a list of excuses, such as: I half moved out of my parents and into my sisters, it’s been hell going back and forth. I’m looking for work and an apartment in an area which seems to have NO 2 bedroom apartments left. My sister started dating and suddenly I had no personal time to think and meditate. I got fish! I need to be responsible to them too!

However, none of those excuses would be valid. The truth is -like my life long struggle with committing to being diabetic- I didn’t want to commit to a low GI diet, even though it didn’t seem all that difficult. The book talks about life changing…. changes, for the better of course, but I still found that very, very scary.

Now I sit here, on my temporary fold out chair (my computer chair is still at the rent’s house) and a computer desk which is not the right height for… anything really (my desk is with the chair) and I can’t promise that I will be fully committed to the low GI diet right away. I refuse to lie to you, or to myself and say that I will never eat a white potato or yogunfruze EVER again, because that will simply be a lie. I really love those Strawberry Cheesecake (non-fat of course) frozen yogurts with extra graham cracker, even if my sugar levels do not. I can, however, commit to trying to commit to said low GI diet.

To get personal, the last couple months have been nothing but life changing.

What was supposed to be 6 months of “getting myself on my feet” turned into 3 years of living with my lovely parents, bless them. Turns out, I was just like everyone else. That was a hard realization to swallow. During these three years I spent time repairing myself mentally and spiritually. I was doing well and generally happy until suddenly my already shaky health plummeted to the depths of despair. As a fellow diabetic friend of mine said, it seemed like my body was constantly on the verge of dying. I found I had a hormonal disorder called Polycystic Ovary Syndrome which if left untreated can cause some ovarian cancer. Then it was a four month trek of trying to find the right birth control to regulate my hormones. Anyone who’s ever been on the wrong birth control knows it literally drives you mentally insane. I’m of the opinion that women are nuts in the first place but you add the wrong dose of hormones on that and say hello a Stephen King Novel with a lot more crying.

In the middle of the crying and the weight fluctuations (I’m craving a carrot! Oh wait… maybe that was a carrot cake.) I got pneumonia. Then came my emergency surgery to take my appendix out. Turns out it was swollen to over twice its size and pretty pissed off. That turned into a week long stay at the hospital and a lot of time bent over a toilet. Hospital bathrooms are about as much fun as hospital food. After the I said goodbye to my appendix I got some other sort of horrible flu/cough thing that put me out for about month.

Needless to say I was feeling pretty numb by the end of it all. I was tired. Too tired to care about anything. Too tired to get out of bed half the time. Then it got worse. I couldn’t think, didn’t want to think. I didn’t care about anything, from my responsibilities to my family and my friends to needing to check my sugar. Everything just seemed to take too much out of me. I was irritable. I felt like I woke up in the wrong world, like I was stuck in some horrible tv show and nothing was worth it. After talking to my lovely Pertobello she suggested I might have depression. I did some research and all the lines matched it. A trip to the doctor later and I had a prescription for pills. It took another 4 months of ups and downs to find the right prescription but it was the best thing I’ve ever done with my life.

Somewhere between the surgery and the depression I think something in my brain snapped. I hatedMississaugaso much, not because of the people but because of the cookie cutter atmosphere. I hated living with my parents, as amazing as they are, they are still and will forever be my parents. I had been working part time and doing volunteer work and I realized I needed more structure in my life. I needed to feel alive again.

The task of moving all of my stuff, making a fresh start, taking the chance on a roommate all seemed too much to handle. I couldn’t stand living at home but I didn’t have the energy to change my situation. Miracle of miracle, my prayers were answered. My work told me they wanted me full time for the month of May which I immediately agreed to. My sister told me to come and live with her for the month since she lives inToronto, transit would be a lot cheaper from her house then using the Go train. It was supposed to be temporary. After all, how could I live with her, two cats, AND a bearded dragon in a one bedroom apartment, it seemed insane. But I packed up a suitcase full of clothes, threw some shoes in a bag and grabbed my pillow. My Mom dropped me off and I couldn’t take the grin off my face. I came into my sister’s apartment with an energy that I hadn’t felt in a long time. I dropped my bags, and gave her a giant hug. She looked at me and said, ‘You’re moving in aren’t you?’ I responded with, ‘Would that be okay with you?’ and suddenly I was a mother of three animals and a roommate.

Now that I’ve been here for a little over a month and all of my pills are working quite nicely (thank you doctor) I realize I’ve been looking at this low GI thing the wrong way all along! All I need to commit to is trying, and I can do that. If it doesn’t work for me, it doesn’t work but I think it will. And I hope anyone who reads this can learn something themselves, hopefully my adventures with nutrition and health will help someone else going through something similar. That is, of course, when I start writing about it! Don’t worry, it’ll be soon.

I would also love to hear from anyone else who is trying at living better. Give me a shout on twitter or right here in the comments area! We all need to stick together after all ;).

My new familia 😛

This is me and my Sissy! She’s the straight haired one ❤

Sharka, She’s a princess 🙂

This is Lucy-Bell. She thinks she can fly. So far she hasn’t killed herself and we’re all very happy about that.

This is Clark Kent, my Betta fish. Mom and I have been watching a LOT of Smallville lately and his colors inspired me 😛

This is Lex Luthor. He’s feisty like him too, such a cutie pie!

Simon. He’s a cuddler 🙂


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