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Archive for April, 2016

This is not health related. I guess you could title it under Mental Health.

I’ve received a couple messages via LinkedIn from older men who tell me how purdy I am and want to “continue communicating”. I’ve dealt with these in a professional manner in the past but today I decided to take a different route.

Enjoy.

At 3:54 AM, Jayson  said the following:

Hi there how are you doing? you look resplendent in such a way that intrigues everyone that views your profile…what a lovely smile and wonderful profile you got there it uplifted me.. I was actually browsing through the list of my connections when I came across your stunning profile..was pulsed and couldn’t resist to say hi having seen such unique beauty. I must say you have really done well for yourself in the area of your profession 🙂 keep it up. I sincerely apologize for writing such personal message to you as I understand that this Professional Networking site prohibits it but just like I said, I couldn’t resist to say hi. Please do you mind staying in touch?? I would love to know more about you…if you don’t mind …Hope to hear from you soon. WARMEST THOUGHTS.

At 8:05 AM, Cindy-Rose Lockhart said the following:

Dearest Jayson, Thank you for your message. I knew someone would see my LinkedIn profile one day and respond. I knew a man out there, somewhere, would see how lonely I really was and reach out to me. I’m so happy it was you.

You see Jayson, I married very young. Olef was from another country. He was tall and handsome, 250 lbs of pure muscle. Do you use the pounds structure in South Africa or is it Kilos there? Anyways, he was and still is a large and formidable man. He swept me off my feet, really. I knew he was an underground streetfighter but I didn’t realize how far his illegal activities went. He hurts people Jayson. He… I can’t say it. But he’s not a good man, Jayson. I didn’t know.

I could just tell from your newly created and limited profile on LinkedIn that you were my soul mate. I’m so happy to be in love again Jayson, and you gave that to me. You did. Thank you so much. You’ve made my world new with your pulsing desire to see me. I’ve been waiting so long for someone to remind me how resplendent my smile is.

Thank you so much.

At 8:06 AM, Cindy-Rose Lockhart said the following:

Jayson I’m so sorry. I’ve made a mistake since I wrote the above. I bought a ticket to South Africa. I hope you understand I was motivated by love. I just had to see you. I had to get away from Olef but… Oh God, Jayson I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry my love but he knows. He knows about us. He knows… He knows about you Jayson. He says it’s not even your real name but I know he’s lying to hurt me. I know he is. Please my love, please listen to me. I don’t have much time. He’s coming for me, I can hear him. His footsteps are getting closer. Listen to me Jayson, LISTEN TO ME. Run. You MUST run Jayson. He’ll be able to find you. Please. Please for my sake, run. RUN JAYSON, RUN!

At 8:09 AM, Cindy-Rose Lockhart said the following:

Hello Jayson, This is Olef. Cindy-Rose is… indisposed. It seems I haven’t given my wife enough attention over the years. That’s my fault I suppose. Thank you for bringing it to my attention. I’ve assured her that she’ll never be out of my sight from now on. Jayson, I don’t know who you are… yet. I do know what you want. You should know I have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you stop messaging my wife now I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.

I’m sorry it came to this Jayson. You really shouldn’t use LinkedIn for this. It’s a professional website for professional people. This has all been… very unprofessional.

I’ve sent people for you. One piece of advice Jayson, don’t blink. Don’t even blink. Blink and you’re dead. They are fast. Faster than you can believe. Don’t turn your back, don’t look away, and don’t blink!

Good luck.

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Yesterday I decided to try a veggie burger. The weather was gorgeous and the BBQ was calling my name! I stopped off at the grocery store and picked up Yves (The Good) Veggie Burger. I wish I could tell you that I chose Yves because of extensive market research but the truth is, it had the most appealing package (hehe, That’s What She Said).

yves

Filled with naivety and hopeful enthusiasm, I gingerly unwrapped the package. My finger happened to graze the burger in the process and this is when I felt my first moment of alarm. It was mildly similar to slimy plastic. Like that wet silly putty you play with as a child. I paused momentarily to take a closer look at the “patty”. I poked then sniffed it but came to no real conclusion on how this might taste. I was, however, still optimistic. After all, they called themselves Yves (The Good) Veggie Burger. They wouldn’t say they were “THE GOOD” veggie burger without actually being a good burger… Would they?

 

It would seem that I had chosen to completely ignore everything I had ever learned about advertising. I.e.: It lies.

I opted on a pan over the BBQ since I had never cooked a veggie burger before and wasn’t sure what to expect. I thought the pan would be a safer choice, particularly since I was mildly concerned it really was plastic and I didn’t want it melting through my grill.

 

I gently placed the “burgers” on the pan and went to go watch a couple Buzzfeed videos. This was my first mistake. Mere minutes later I smelled it. Smoke began to fill my kitchen as I jumped up to find my “burgers” had already charred. I flipped the “patties” and realize they had the consistency of cardboard. 

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Mmmmmm Cardboard!

A couple minutes later I took the “burgers” off the pan and plated them with Quinoa, Hemp hearts, and some spinach.

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Doesn’t look bad does it. LIES!

 

I have a couple things to say about Yves (The Good) Veggie Burgers.

 

  1. These burgers have ZERO vegetables in them. An ingredient check will tell you that it is soy, wheat, corn starch, and some chemical sounding ingredients. If you have any kind of wheat or gluten intolerance, do not eat these veggie burgers. (They do have a gluten free burger but I can’t imagine it taste any less disgusting).
  2. They tasted like less than nothing. I can’t imagine there was ANY effort to season them. I’m not saying they should taste like beef. Obviously, if you’re getting a veggie burger you probably don’t like the taste of beef and that’s your call. I do believe they should taste like something! This was the blandest piece of garbage I have ever had and I’ve eaten sugar free chocolate! I am insulted on behalf of vegetarians everywhere and I’m not even a vegetarian. Just because you don’t eat meat doesn’t mean you don’t have taste buds.
  3. Don’t eat these.
  4. If you’re thinking about eating these read this article again. Take special note of the hope and optimism I held. Then notice as it is ripped away from me. Learn from me young ones, don’t do it.

 

Fear not readers, I have not lost hope! I have a dream. A dream that out there is a good, wheat free, veggie burger recipe! I will power on in my journey and I have no doubt one day in the future you will read a happier tale. A tale of a young’ish woman experimenting with plant based diets who has discovered a truly enjoyable veggie burger.

 

As always, thank you for reading beautiful people. Please feel free to comment and let me know if YOU have found any good veggie burgers that you would like me to try and review!

 

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Let’s talk about HEALTH baby
Let’s talk about you and me
Let’s talk about all the good nutrients and bad fats
That may be
Let’s talk about health!

– Sang to the tune of Salt-N-Pepa’s Let’s Talk About Sex (which I have no rights to)

 

Hello beautiful people, how have you been? I’ve been taking some time to figure out what the next step in my life is going to be and Eureka, I think I did it!

 

I’m going to be taking a course to become a Holistic Health Coach and eventually a registered Health Coach/Nutritionist. Here’s what that means:

 

The course is going to teach me about nutrition sciences as well as the link between what you eat and the way you feel. As some of you may know, I’ve come across a fair amount of health issues in the past year and a lot of them have been food related. I started doing research about how to heal my body through the way I eat. I refused to believe I was going to feel sick my entire life and that it was just something I had to accept, as most doctors would have me believe.

 

At the end of this course I plan to be able to help others as well as myself. I want to show people what it would be like not to wake up exhausted every morning. I want everyone to feel happy with themselves and the way they feel. I am going to give people a way of eating that doesn’t taste horrible and is attainable. And that living healthy can be fun!

 

I know some of you will think this is hoaxey. I mean holistic nutrition? Hippie nonsense! Just eat the right foods! How hard can it be?

Social Media Veggies

If only it was this easy

 

You’re right, it shouldn’t be hard, but governments and food industries have confused healthy and garbage so much that we don’t know what to pick on the shelf. What do those ingredient lists really mean and why does half that list sound like a science experiment from high school? Even the most skeptical of eater’s may have found themselves thinking:

 

Is this my third cup of coffee today? Or is it my fifth? Is that even bad?
Is my hair thinning?
Why am I tired all the time?
Am I losing patience or are people just really annoying lately?
Why can’t I get out of bed?
I just want to hibernate for like… a year. That’s normal right?

So I had a box of Oreos for dinner, that’s not so bad is it? I just don’t have energy to cook anymore!
What can I feed my kid that he won’t hate?
OMG, how did I gain five pounds, I’ve been dieting for TWO WEEKS!?!?
Why don’t I ever feel good?

 

Let’s face it guys, it’s not that easy to eat “right” anymore. What does eating right even mean? Our foods are filled with chemicals, most of it is “genetically modified” and we can’t remember what feeling good is. Eating healthy to most people means Kale for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and who wants that?

 

I come from a family where obesity runs rampant. I’ve had type 1 diabetes since I was 7, fought with PCOS, emotional ups and downs, hormonal irregularities, and doctors telling me there was nothing they could do unless I wanted to take this little pill. That little pill has a list of side effects longer than the list of chemicals in household cleaner. I finally decided that I was done feeling sick. I knew there was an answer out there and I was going to find it.

 

Now I want to help people along that same journey. I want to show the world that you can feel good without breaking the bank and eating like a rabbit. You can feel full and still lose weight! Will you have to make changes? Absolutely. Will they all be horrible? No.

 

You can be the best you.

 

I’ve always wanted to be hella hot when I was 30. I wanted to be like Anthony Kiedis (lead singer of the Red Hot Chili Peppers) who said his 40 yr old self could kick his 20 yr old self’s ass. And I want you all to take that journey with me.

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Who wouldn’t want to look this good at 40!?

 

Here’s some Q&A to answer some questions you may or may not have right now:

 

Q: Cindy, are all your blogs going to be boring now?
A: Hellz no! I’m still me. The blogs will still be witty with great memes to keep you laughing. There’s going to be some helpful information in there about eating habits, exercising habits, as well as mind and body goodness. It’ll be simple, easy to understand, and fun!

 

Q: Cindy, you mentioned the memes. So we’ll still get memes?
A: Of course! I love memes. I probably love memes a little too much. There will be so many memes!

 

Q: We’re a little worried reading your blog is going to feel like when our mothers nagged us about eating our vegetables. We really don’t want to be nagged.
A: Guys, come on. I would never nag …. Okay that’s a lie. I totally nag sometimes. But reading my blog will not be naggy. It’ll be insightful! You won’t even know you’re learning because you’ll be having so much fun!

 

Q: Will you have B list celebrity Guest bloggers?
A: I may know some people. There might be some guest bloggers. I’m really aiming for that. I know some pretty decent looking physical trainers who I might be able to convince to make an appearance every once and again, so… you know… something to look forward to!

 

Q: Are you trying to lure us into reading by promising us hot people?
A: I mean, I wouldn’t put it that way. But if that’s what works for you, then ya! Hot people!

 

Q: Will Mindy Kaling be a guest speaker?
A: I’m not making any promises here. I don’t know Mindy personally but I’ve tweeted her a couple times and I’m sure she’s read my tweets. I wouldn’t say it’s not a possibility.

 

Q: Cindy, the internet is really obsessed with sloths right now. Will there be sloths? #sloths.
A: I… I don’t really know why I would have a sloth on the blog but… I mean… I don’t really know what this has to do with a health blog or health coaching.

 

Q: What about kitten and puppy pictures?
A: I… seriously? Yeah, sure, there will probably be some kitten and puppy pictures here and there.

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Little Sloth knows what it’s about! 

 

Q: So, if there’s no sloths and you can’t promise Mindy Kaling, what will be on your blog??
A: Dude, have you even been listening? Okay, *takes deep breath*, this blog is going to have everything. There will be great and easy recipes to make healthy and tasty treats and meals. I’ll be showing some vegan recipes, some gluten free recipes, everything will be tweakable so you can tailor it to your own eating preferences! I’ll teach you what calories really mean for your body and how to tell if there are healthy fats in what you’re eating. We’ll talk about exercising, the goods, the bads, and the uglies! I’m going to be incorporating some video tutorials and tons of fun pictures. It’s going to be great.

 

Q: Did you say there was going to be twerking? #twerking.
A: NO! No, I did not say twerking. TWEAKING, I will show you how to tweak… or CHANGE the recipes so they suit you and your eating preferences. There will be no twerking.

 

Q: I think the idea of a twerking health blog is pretty cool.
A: I’m sure it would be but that’s not really what I’m about.

 

Q: What are you about?
A: Taking the Hell out of Healthy. Finding ways to eat and feel great about yourself every day. Making sure you live the best life you can have all your life. It’s going to be a place you can find recipes, advice, tidbits, and so many other things about your health and well being.

 

Q: Is this going to be like, a girly blog? Like, just a blog for women about women stuff?
A: Absolutely not. This blog is for both men and women. While some articles may be catered towards one of the other, I’ll always give readers a heads up at the beginning.

 

Q: Well, this all sounds fascinating. Will it be coming out once a month?
A: Actually, it’s going to be out weekly. Every Wednesday night or Thursday morning you can expect a new blog!

 

Q: Riveting.
A: I’m going to ignore the sarcastic tone there.

 

Alright, that’s the end of Q&A! If you have any other questions feel free to message or DM me! I love feedback and would love to hear your comments. If you have a specific health issue you’d like to talk about let me know and I’d be happy to make it the focus of one of the future blogs!

 

Stay happy, stay healthy, and as always, thanks for reading beautiful people!

 

Picture Source:
Pic 1: http://www.cartoonistgroup.com/store/add.php?iid=101503
Pic 2: http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/anthony-kiedis/images/13513439/title/anthony-kiedis-photo
Pic 3: http://www.cutesexyfunnyawful.com/2011/12/gluttony-and-sloth.html

Feature Pic: https://www.google.ca/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwi_wK_b_PrLAhUpyYMKHc3gD-kQjRwIBw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmemegenerator.net%2Finstance%2F23966428&psig=AFQjCNE9x8Z1bOReLQmisa29-cNJ3lzSXw&ust=146006513572455

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